The Jordan year, the golden birthday. I've waited 23 years to turn 23 years old on July 23rd.
What a goddamn nerd.
These are some things I heard when I turned 23, proving that 23 is going to be a goddamn great year:
[INT. - BAR]
"I was moody because I didn't have a swimsuit."
"I don't want to meet Frank Ocean like this."
"What were you going to do with the yoga mat? Just throw it at the cat?"
[SCREAMS] "MY WEBSITE ISN'T OPTIMIZED FOR MOBILE."
"If you don't think that guy is a superhero, he just bought be a rare bourbon and gave me a pack of unopened gum."
"What are you, like - nine?"
"Buy me some cookies that are fun."
"I mean - if cake is involved, you obviously will have a good time. IT'S CAKE."
"You can put an avocado in your cereal; it's like a banana."
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